He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
