Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
