Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
