i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
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I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
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I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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