i don't like sucking hair
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
