just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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