I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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