The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
