Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It was confusing and full of hummus
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
