Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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