So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize