He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
