Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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