What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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