ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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