So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize