Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
