there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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