I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
