This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
