"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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