I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize