the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
