Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
