Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
