We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
