We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
