Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize