You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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