omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
