and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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