...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I could fuck to npr.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
