I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
