if you like me you must not know who I am
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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