I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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