we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Enjoy the penises
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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