Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
