I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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