I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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