he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I had to cum in my sink.
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