Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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