I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
