Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
