I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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