I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
