Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
