It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
