just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
