I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
