She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize