i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
