The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He felt like a one man threesome
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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