And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
