To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
