Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize