nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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