Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
