I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
