she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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