Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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