So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
