so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize